Doing all the questions now cause I’ll surely forget if I don’t.
1. When did you first identify with the term, “transgender?”
Umm… first identifying with this term, is probably Christmas Eve of this year. Not very long ago XD That was when I told myself, Yep, this is what I am.
2. How did you choose your name? What names were you thinking about using and why?
My name derived from a character I had created years ago. My friend Juanean created the weird spelling “Xiaine” and that character was my avatar. He represented me. Xiaine is a guy, and yeah ;w;~ But recently I had the urge to change Xiaine to Shane and … well since the the spelling “Shane” is like a smaller version of my actual name, I decided that would be the new me. I made this decision last year though. The new Shane was suppose to be the more outgoing me, and now Shane is the male me. The real me. I wasn’t thinking of any other names. This one was absolute.
3. Have you ever been outed?
Sadly I don’t get what this means… still new to the terms OTL Unless you mean people telling others about this, than no.
4. How did your family take it when you came out? or, if you’re not out yet, what’s holding you back?
The fact that everyone is Christian. My family isn’t very accepting. My younger sister by 3 years is the closest to accepting and she doesn’t exactly understand the whole transitioning thing and wouldn’t be happy with me if she heard that I felt this way. My mom is the big believer of the family and very homophobic. My dad… well him.. .I’ve heard him talking about making fun of gays and lesbians and even spoke about beating up a homosexual guy before… so… yeah… Not happening any time soon.
5. Are you active in the trans or LGBTQ community? If so, how?
Not as much as I’d like to be. I’ve only been able to sign petitions or participate in the “Wear Purple” thing that happened earlier this year. I’ve always wanted to help in this community, and I wanna help even more now that I’m apart of it.
6. Who was the first person you told about being trans?
That’s tough actually. The first person I sort of admitted being “mentally” trans to was my friend Angel. The first person I actually told was… well i posted that on tumblr.. and the people I speak closely with were told shortly after.
7. Who do you look up to?
Twinfools. My bro Demi recommended watching his videos and just… that alone REALLY helped me move forward in this whole thing. Twin helped me accept what I was.
8. In the beginning of your transition, how did you deal with being misgendered?
Uh lol You mean now. I’m dealing with it okay. Lately I’ll get super sad if I start thinking about it too much. I’m misgendered all the time at home. So… I deal with it okay. I’m use to the whole “girl” thing. So far, I’m not really upset about it.
9. What is something positive about being trans?
I think the positive thing about this is probably being more open with other people and their genders and sexualities. I don’t know, you understand these things more, unless you look it up often and you’re not trans? Lol XD;; i know I understand the gender spectrum MUCH better now.
10. What are some of your fears in regards to being trans?
Oh God. I’m afraid of my family. I’m really scared that they’ll reject me, kick me out, purposely close me out and not understand, or just plain yell at me just cause. Maybe my mom will say something like me being possessed by very bad spirits and I need God soon. Ugh. I’m also scared of how others will treat me. I know people aren’t very accepting. I’m afraid of being beat up or receiving unneeded hate… I’m scared of transitioning with hormones. vdksbhfiodhbo i’m scared of this change. OTL
11. How do you manage dysphoria?
The dysphoria is actually hitting a lot harder than I thought it would. I’m starting to get really uncomfy with myself. Like I can look at my body and admire it, but I get really awkward about the fact that… I want a male body. But right now, I’m okay. I manage fairly well.
12. What are you doing to stay healthy for transitioning mentally and physically?
Uhhh… It’s more mentally. I’m rambling about this on Tumblr. That really helps me air out and get my feelings out to supportive peeps. Seeing everyone’s feedback and positive words always make things a lot better. It’s very healthy for me cause I feel so much better and I can keep on going. I don’t feel like a damn freak.
13. How do you handle the bathroom dilemma?
I don’t actually. I’m not sure I can just waltz in the boys bathroom. It’s cause I’m so used to the girl’s bathroom. I almost walked in the men’s dressing room though… lol XD
14. What are some of your passing tips?
Find supportive friends. Seriously. If you’re dealing with constant dysphoria and unsupportive parents or family members, find friends that are going to help you and try to understand. Best way to go is online. Find online communities, use Tumblr since Tumblr’s really big on the LGBT community. Seriously, I just started all this, and even before coming out, I had people cheering me on, calling me by the name I preferred. It’s worth it ;v;
15. How have you embraced your trans identity?
I basically just let myself know I’m a guy. I tell myself that, though my mind often tells me otherwise. I’ve tried looking for more guyish clothing, I put on men’s deodorant, I try covering my self more, walk around like a guy, use my deeper voice, and I refer to myself as my preferred name “Shane”.
16. What’s your rock anthem and why?
lol XD;;; I don’t have one ;w;
17. What are your binding and packing choices, and why?
Uhh… I actually don’t have any choices. I haven’t tried either.
18. How do you feel about the trans laws where you live?
…there’s laws about it here? *looks it up*
They seem…very fair to me. I can change my name and gender without a court order? Seems legit… *not sure if true?*
19. How do your religious views impact your being trans? If you have none, what about your parents’ religious views?
I don’t have any religious views. If I did, I would NOT be embracing this shit at all. I’d be flipping out worrying I’ll be in Hell very soon. My parents… my mom’s completely against anything LGBT and my dad is… more than likely not the type to care… but him talking about beating up some gay dude worries me greatly. He did say he didn’t care if I was lesbian…but… damn.
20. Do you want to be a parent? Why or why not?
Nah. I had thoughts about it. I live in a house of 8 people. Fuck having kids >___> I never wanted to carry a child in my stomach either. i always held the option to adopt if I ever changed my mind.
21. What are your views on the cisgender community?
Um… nothing really. It’s nice to have variety eve My best friend is cisgender, so…yeah not much of a comment? XDD
22. Do you feel being trans holds you back from your career choice?
Nope. Not at all. I even told myself that when I do become a comic artist, I’ll be a man doing so. i’ll give my gender as male and all that fun shit. This was determined like… years ago?
23. What stereotypes are put on trans people?
That trans people are confused and going through phases? Or that a Transman is actually a lesbian and a transwoman is a homosexual. I don’t know any? ;w;
24. Who is your favorite LGBT actor, musician, artist, etc? Why are they your favorite?
Uhh… Lady Gaga? So far that’s all I know…? Or Eddie Izzard is funny XD Lady Gaga spreads the love and Eddie Izzard just makes comedy from it XD
25. What are your doctor/therapist visits like?
I haven’t had these yet ;v;
26. Are you comfortable answering questions about being transgender when a teacher, friend, family, or stranger ask you?
Uhhh… Online, it’s a piece of cake. In person, holy fuck I’m so scared to answer. Today Cappu and I were talking… and I couldn’t explain anything clearly OTL
27. What goals do you have in regards to your transition? Aside from your transition?
Uhh… Just pose as male and be confident in such. And also find out whether or not I’m willing to take Testosterone or not.
28. What is something you do daily to feel comfortable with yourself?
Call myself Shane. Draw myself as a male. Mess around with my new piercings and act boyish. I also just… talk to my friends on here.
29. Write out something positive about yourself using the letters of your name. Ex. Bob: Badass Outstanding Boy
Shane: Super Heavy Amazing Noobie Extraordinaire
30. Write a haiku about being trans.
This is very new
I’m not lying about this
This is who I am